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Joke of the Day

"Guys whose fathers left when they were young always complain about how they never had someone to ""teach them how to shave"" but it's easy... You start at the ankle and work your way up!"

"If a bulldog and a shitzu mated, their off-spring would be called a dog-zu"

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches."

"My boss got hit by a car while I was on my way to the wishing well so yes, I do have some spare change."

"Ladies: If ""snuggling"" is so important to you, have the guy do that BEFORE you have sex. Trust me...... He'll snuggle and snuggle and snuggle..."

"For all the effort I put into faking it, I should really just start writing down the confirmation number at the end of a phone call."

"What was early man's best friend? Primates"

"I thought I could have sex with this Eskimo woman... ... But she wasn't that Inuit."

"If a band plays music in a thunderstorm who is most likely to get hit by lightning? The conductor."

"Tommy went to his mom in the kitchen and said: 'Mom! Mom! The dog is having sex!' So mom says: 'Try not to pay attention to it, sweetheart.' to which Tommy responds: 'But it hurts so much!'"