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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock. Who's there? April Fool day :)"

"How do Spaniards take their coffee? Au lait."

"Why was Timothy, the British astronaut, selected to go to the ISS? He was in Peake condition."

"I just watched one kid call his twin brother ugly and now I'm just waiting for him to realize what that means"

"A public restroom I was in had a sign that said ""Flush toilet paper only"" and I just thought Well, shit"

"They act like technology is ruining childhood, but back in the day, kids were so bored they would turn their eyelids inside out for fun."

"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't walk around Dublin pretending he's Bono"

"I don't always roll a joint... But when I do, it's my ankle."

"I slipped on ice and discovered I'm a natural at break dancing"

"I go to a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."