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Joke of the Day

"One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?"

"What's Gabe Newell's favourite game? Angry Nerds"

"Twitter updated their Terms of Service. Now it just says ""Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here."""

"Here in the Middle East, we don't need any weed We have the Quran. Burning that shit will get your ass stoned."

"Free range chicken is better. The false illusion of freedom before slaughter makes them extra tender."

"[normal life] ive worn the same shirt everyday for a week [packing for vacation] hmmm. i'll prob change a few times a day so thats...32 shirts"

"Maturbating when hooked up to a heart monitor really gets the nurses running around. They never know if you are coming or going."

"What was a positive accomplishments made by the Nazi party? The leader killed Hitler OP: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3grkqb/what_were_some_positive_accomplishments_made_by/"

"There are 10 kinds of people Those who know binary and those who don't"

"""Hey Daddy!!! Watch what I can do!!"" - aaaaaaaaand hospital."