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Joke of the Day

"I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a crappy interest rate."

"How do you circumcuse a whale? You send four skin divers down to it"

"Two peanuts were walking down the street.... And one of them was assaulted"

"My wife was shocked when she found out I switched her vibrator with a taser."

"hey guys maybe girls are so cold all the time because you make us shave off all our hair"

"What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key."

"Look, this is the only body I'll ever have and that is why I'm covering it in a thick layer of fat to protect it."

"Did you hear about the russian prosititute Nickersonanoff"

"I made this up when i was 10... Whats a frogs favorite restaurant? IHOP!!!"

"How do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dust pan and broom."