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Joke of the Day

"How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds? Marry her."

"If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?"

"how did hitler tie his shoesies? with little nazis"

"I was told that hardcore Christians don't think anal counts as losing your virginity so that's why pastors get off scot free"

"Dylann Roof was just sentenced to death.... Needless to say he was FLOORED by the news."

"I wonder if the Pope has any pets... Yeah they are called altar boys."

"Why do Physicists make terrible parents? They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one."

"I met a dwarf the other day He was a pretty down to earth guy."

"I was furious when I found my wife's profile on a dating website That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around"""

"If you love a cat, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours to keep. If it doesn't, you drove far enough."