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Joke of the Day
"I greet all my daughter's boyfriends with, ""I used to molest guys like you in prison."""
Next Joke
"No one realizes when someone says, ""The last thing I wanna do is hurt you,"" that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it."
"If you're in love with 2 people, pick the second one, If you really loved the 1st, you wouldn't have fallen for the 2nd."
"Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them? I did! Well here's the elastic band."
"Make a Fire Q: How do you make a fire with two sticks? A: Make sure one is a match!"
"My uncle is a farmer. Last year he won an award for outstanding in his field."
"A girl has to get in bed before 8 p.m. so she can come home at 11."
"What's the difference between a black man and batman? A black guy can't go a night without robin."
"A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself."
"I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work."