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Joke of the Day
"What time does Sean Connery show up to wimbledon? Tennish"
Next Joke
"smh, I bought tickets to Disney on ice & it was just 2 hours of Donald Duck smoking crystal meth"
"I asked my friend who the antagonist of Borderlands is. Me: ""If you tell me, i'll give you some alcohol for free"" Friend: ""Alright then, hand some jack"""
"How do you make the spying NSA frustrated?"
"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre. So he *gives it to her.*"
"Just once in my life, I'd like to know the sweet satisfaction of finishing a tube of ChapStick."
"*Buys map of world, pins it up on wall* *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands* *Visits the middle of the Atlantic Ocean*"
"Steven Gerrard obviously believes his best chance of winning the Premier League is to join the MLS and then hope that Man City try to sign him."
"I call my dick hard times.. Cuz birches always be falling on it"
"""I'd hit that"" -old people who drive"