191021

Joke of the Day

"[interview at Bass Pro Shops] So, tell me a little about yourself. Me: *dressed in camouflage* Wait, you can see me?!"

"What's the best name for an atheist? Godfrey"

"""I'm an introvert!"" -Extrovert, after being alone for a whole ten minutes."

"What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? Both say Please insert Bill."

"Netflix is red, Xanax is blue. Put them together for a fun afternoon."

"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""

"Obama won? That's it I am moving.... ..to USA!"

"What did the Queen say when she lost her dog? ""Where the fuck is my corgi?!"""

"What did the mute man say to his father"

"What would the most depressing game show be? Biggest Loser: All-Stars."