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Joke of the Day
"What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? Both say Please insert Bill."
Next Joke
"I want to get a pet deer, cover it in pickles, and name her Dildo"
"A woman is late to a fight. She takes a seat next to several men. ""How many cocks have been beaten?"" she asks. ""None, until now,"" says a man with a smile."
"Q: Why the fireman was burried on the top of the hill? A: Because he was dead."
"Yo mama so fat, the sorting hat placed her in the house of pancakes."
"Christmas song for people with synesthesia: do you see what I heeeaarrr"
"Rant ""What do we want!?"" ""No daylight savings!"" ""When do we want it!?"" ""An hour ago!!!"""
"My 5 year old thinks that there's a monster under his bed so I assured him that it won't get him as long as he stays in bed until 8AM."
"How do you tell... How do you tell when your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes!"
"I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69... She said, ""No, but I have done 53 That's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""