2679

Joke of the Day

"On Canada Day, I like to say ""HAPPY CANADA DAY!"" to people. But quietly. And from a distance. I don't want to be a bother."

"Getting asked 'you want a fork' by a hot Chinese waitress is misleading as fork to my american ears"

"if you hold an empty gatorade bottle up to your ear you can hear the sports"

"HER: Im breaking up with u ME: Is it because I say ""Uh Oh Spaghetti O's"" when things go wrong? HER: Ya ME:(under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's"

"Balloons think they're so cool. I tried to tell one he was leaking and he just said, ""Pfft."""

"If Donald Trump runs the U.S into the ground... He will have toupee"

"Raggedy Andy knew he was becoming a man when he noticed yarn where there wasn't yarn before."

"Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about"

"What does a chemist say when he needs someone to pass the salt? ""Please pass the salt."""

"Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder. They're calling it columbrine"