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Joke of the Day

"i would like it if batmans ears folded down when he got sad"

"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking at their doors all the time."

"Why was the school grey? Because it was a Greyed School. I woke up with this joke in my head this morning. I think my brain is trying to kill me with horrible puns."

"I have a talking pig stuck to my fridge. It's a Babe magnet."

"Why does the internet always mourn the death of politicians? Because they are always lion about everything."

"A new report has concluded that dog owners are more outgoing than cat owners. Hardly surprising. You have to take a dog for walks."

"LPT: If you're not planning to do anything the entire day, Masturbate. Then you won't want to walk or shower and you can waste your day as originally intended."

"What's the difference between a camel and a Russian? A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking."

"I'll be buried in a spring-loaded coffin stuffed w/ tons of confetti. In the future some archeologist is gonna have an awesome day at work."

"Hot chick at the bar just said that she's gonna do something stupid tonight... ...I informed her that I only had a 1.75 GPA in high school."