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Joke of the Day

"Black people don't have inside voices, they only have ""I want to make sure everyone fucking hears this"" voices."

"How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face"

"A feminist once told me that there are no documented cases of ""bra burning"" in history that's just herstory"

"What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft? A flat miner."

"What do you call a chinese crab who just got dumped? A frustacean"

"I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney"

"If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,""Help, they've turned me into a parrot."" you are wasting everybody's time."

"For a first date date, my girlfriend wasn't impressed when I tried to drive over the frozen lake drunk. But, it was an icebreaker."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey"

"Having kids means you'll have a lot of interrupted conversa--"