190915
Joke of the Day
"Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor."
Next Joke
"A husband says to his wife, ""What would you do if I won Lotto?"" She says, ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent,"" he replies, ""I won $12, here's $6 - now fuck off!"""
"What do you call a small bull? A MINI-TAUR!"
"My wife said she wanted a divorce for Christmas. I told her I did not want to spend that much."
"What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar? A liar."
"Ever notice that a European male tourist dresses like a 7th grade girl from the suburbs? Graphic tees and Hollister jeans allllll day."
"Why are Soviets so bad with the ladies? They're always Russian the fuckin' and Stalin the lovin' hehehe"
"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."
"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts off by saying, ""A man once told me...."""
"*sits down in a classy as hell bar* ""barkeep! a bottle of your finest champagne please. I earn..."" *lowers shades* ""$200 every 4 months"""