190909

Joke of the Day

"What does every clean nose have? Fingerprints."

"Answering school teachers like... Teacher: What is the outside of a tree called? Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow."

"How many guys does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you."

"Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know."

"I'm putting off having kids mainly because I'm not ready to be 9 months sober."

"What do you call a boat that gives fresh breath? A Shipmint!"

"When is a tree it's loudest? When it begins to bark."

"So the other day i saw a beaver begging by the side d the river But I didn't give a dam"

"How do you calm down a grammar Nazi? There they're their..."

"What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep? ""He's resisting a rest!"""