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Joke of the Day

"How many guys does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you."

"One of my favourite things is Pork Souvlaki on a Pita But it's hard to get the animal rights activists to stay still"

"[girl chatting up guy at bar] girl: so what do you do? magician: i halve a girlfriend"

"My friend had all of his guitars stolen, and he's real sad about it. Can't even play the blues anymore."

"Why did God make four cheeks on the human body? He made an ass of the first two."

"I just saved thousands on child support by never getting laid."

"What do my jokes have in common with toilet paper? They're both tearable."

"i love when people apologize to me about their rooms being dirty I'm just like lmao u should see my life"

"Why do you never find elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"A friend and I walked past an Alzheimers Society. He turned to me and said ""How do they remember where it is""?"