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Joke of the Day
"What did the police say to the man who wouldn't go to sleep? ""He's resisting a rest!"""
Next Joke
"Q: What do you get when you cross a sheltie and a cantaloupe? A: A melon collie."
"Her: I love your lip gloss. What brand is it? Me: *looks puzzled*licks lips* It's donut glaze."
"What do you call a red-headed baker? A Ginger-bread man"
"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."
"If laughter is the best medicine, then most facebook status updates are Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis and Syphilis all rolled into one."
"Why don't women wear watches? Because there's a perfectly good clock on the stove"
"Life with me is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you're going to get the crazy one filled with arsenic."
"In other news... An airplane crashed into a cemetery this morning. 400 bodies have already been found and the search continues."
"Kermit and Miss Piggy never married. He has Kermitment issues."