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Joke of the Day

"Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

"My son found a SEVEN leaf clover on the neighbor's back porch! I don't have the heart to tell him that it's really a marijuana leaf."

"My doctor said my cervix is perfect. I'm still blushing."

"Cremation My last chance at a smoking hot body"

"Fuck! I have to fly to California to prevent a forest fire. THIS IS TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY!"

"Pedophiles may be bad people... ... but at least they drive slow through the school zones"

"Today I drove through a huge puddle that splashed up under my car and laughed to myself as I whispered, ""car bidet."""

"I once got diarrhea on a road trip but I went on, undeterred."

"What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction? One can... ""Get Hard"""

"What did the pony say when he had a sore throat? Pardon me, I'm just a little hoarse."