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Joke of the Day

"J.R.R. Tolkien's full name is Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien."

"Why are trigonometric functions always women? Because they have periods!"

"Just skipped past a quote from Gandhi on Instagram to ""like"" a photo of a hot dog."

"I call bullshit on these retro bottles of Coca-Cola. They make you add your own cocaine."

"Carson: No it wasn't a friend it was a close family member. And I didn't stab her I froze her heart. ""Sir, that's the plot of Frozen."""

"Cleaning out my handbag. Wondering if nine pens are enough."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change the bulb and another to hold the penis. ladder! I meant ladder."

"I'd make a joke about Jonestown... But the punch line is too long."

"What do you call a pessimistic horse? A Neigh-Sayer"

"Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record."