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Joke of the Day
"Not all that glitters is gold. Take, for instance, glitter."
Next Joke
"chewing tobacco must've been a hard sell: Do you like nicotine but hate smoke but love to spit smelly wet chunks of leaves? Well guess what"
"I've decided to sell my hoover... well, well, it was just collecting dust."
"How do you get a musician off of your porch? You pay for the pizza."
"Inspired by Baby Jesus, I'm hoping to get nailed this weekend."
"Physical Doctor gave me a physical and says I have to stop master bating. I ask why? He says ""because I'm giving you a physical"""
"At the library: Librarian: you have 45 cents in late fees. Me: (adjusts bow tie then slides 50 cents across the table) Keep the change"
"If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?"
"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow."
"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from..."