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Joke of the Day

"Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown."

"A new survey shows that 90% of men masturbate in the shower, the other 10% sing. Know what they sing? Yeah, me neither."

"Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think 1 tiny cheese drawer & 2 giant vegetable drawers is the way to go."

"Guys with balls hangin from ur truck. that would mean ur truck is a man,yes? Which means you like to be inside a dude all day. Lol homo. : p"

"Did you hear about that new liberal episcopal church? It has six commandments and four suggestions"

"When I lose my glasses I become a horrible plumber because I can't see shit."

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

"I'm going to take a nap... Wake me up when September ends."

"What are condoms for? Condoms are for fucking pussies, and for assholes."

"I have $5,000,000 in one pocket and $2,000,000 in the other. What do I have? Someone else's pants."