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Joke of the Day

"Our FedEx guy keeps delivering diapers & formula but I didn't order any. And he cries when he holds the baby. Weird, huh?"

"Water-loo is such a shitty place. Just thinking about it would make me pissed, if I gave a crap."

"Today I saw 2 blind people fighting. I shouted ""I support the one with the knife.!"" they both ran away."

"""Did you sign the nondisclosure agreement?"" ""To not disclose what?"" ""Then you DID sign the agreement! """

"My brother got sent to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wear gloves."

"When is it time to bury the baby that you killed? When it starts talking to you again."

"Where do one-legged people eat? Ihop"

"Forget about sexy, I am bringing good manners back!"

"Ellen Pao reminds me of this guy I know... His name is OP"

"Getting a hard-on is the only way I can get my wife to leave me alone."