190672

Joke of the Day

"What I Say To 7: ""This is just between us"" What 7 Hears: ""Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse"""

"Teacher: Who fought in the Civil War? Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ...."

"They say real girls ain't never perfect, perfect girls ain't never real."

"Did you hear about the Blonde who bought a brand new pair of panty hose, she put em on then shaved her legs and recked 'em"

"I got a bracelet that posts where I ran, and how far to facebook, and I put it on a deer. So it just looks like I'm lost in the woods."

"How to keep an idiot busy for hours [read below] How to keep an idiot busy for hours [read title]"

"Why did the dolphin kill himself? A lack of porpoise."

"Two atoms are walking down the street... And the first one says ""shit man, i dropped an electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Says the second one. ""Yeah, im positive!"""

"What do you call a horny Welshman on top of the Space Needle? Sheepless in Seattle"

"What's Ted Cruz's favorite food? Boogers. This isn't a joke. Ted Cruz eats his boogers."