190637

Joke of the Day

"How many of my ex-girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Apparently she will screw anything."

"If a girl says vulgarities Is she called vulgirl?"

"The Clinton Foundation is like my ex-wife. They keep 94% of the money and still don't feed the kids."

"Ellie Goulding could really take her relationship to the next level... ... if she married Darth Vader (Don't know if I should be proud, but yes this is OC)"

"Is the bakery hiring? Cause I think I'll knead a little bit of dough to get by."

"My friend's name is Jesus. So if I go driving with him, can Jesus literally take the wheel?"

"Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever."

"The maple leafs are my favourite curling team Always sliding down the ice bumping into the walls and never hitting the bullseye."

"Don't give people who take selfies a hard time they're just trying to save face"

"Typical Kanye West If Kanye West would become a president wouldn't we all be living in Wild West?"