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Joke of the Day

"Ellie Goulding could really take her relationship to the next level... ... if she married Darth Vader (Don't know if I should be proud, but yes this is OC)"

"the existence of groundhog implys the existence of skyhog, treehog, oceanhog"

"What was Adolf Hitler's campaign slogan? *""Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!""*"

"For $2.20 you can get a medium coffee and a free 14 year supplies worth of napkins at dunkin donuts."

"[somebody steals my car] it's only metal. the important thing is no one was hurt [somebody steals my tweet] MAY VULTURES FEAST ON YOUR EYES"

"Looking to sell me theremin. Haven't touched it in years."

"Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic druggie lawyer who just finished rehab? He's already started suing again."

"My humor is kinda like sickle-cell anemia... it's not for everyone, but black people tend to get it."

"""Real men like a woman with curves"" - Fat Chicks"