190600

Joke of the Day

"Putin goes on holiday! Vladimir Putin arrives at an airport, gets in line at customs desk. Customs officer: Occupation? Putin: No, just visiting."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up someone's ass"

"The Buddhist idea of Nirvana literally translates to ""Blown Out"" Typically in reference to something like a candle, but occasionally to Kurt Cobain's brains."

"There were hookers talking... Asked the one hooker the other: What do you ask from Santa Claus this year? Oh, just 50 dollars, like always."

"The average Apple employee works 6 hours longer a day than an Apple battery."

"Tips to reduce weight... First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!"

"No Grandma, an iPad is not a new brand of Maxi Pads"

"Him: You have such a beautiful soul. Me: It's photoshopped."

"What's the difference between eating pussy and driving in fog? When you're eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you."

"Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set."