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Joke of the Day

"What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits? Make it sew number 1!"

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"School is like a boner, long and hard. Unless you're Asian."
"Personally, I think the title of ""World Champions"" is ridiculous. This is America, we're Universe Champions!"
"Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo. Men 1952: I just fixed the roof. Men 2016: I just shaved my legs."
"My wife told me to get her something she can use for her birthday this year. So I got her a face-lift and a tummy tuck."
"Me and my recliner... We go way back."
"Contrary to popular belief, Stalin was from Georgia, not Russia. Stalin wasn't Russian anywhere."
"How much does the economist-turned-prostitute charge for a blowjob? $200, possibly more if you account for inflation."
"Two men were sitting in a canoe in the middle of the desert... One man says to the other, ""where's your paddle?"" to which the other man replies, ""sure does."""
"Why are sailors so impatient when they get on land? Because they're tired of waiting in the rhumb line."
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