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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water? Bob."

"Repost! You're a fucking joke."

"I hold my iPhone up outside your window to play our song. A 90 second ad plays first."

"I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day.. ..it smells better than real poo."

"What did Eminem say when his label spelled his name wrong? It doesn't Mather."

"Just tell me which one is wrong, the password or the username!! Don't make me have to guess."

"What do cheese and cancer have in common? Americans put it everywhere!"

"Why wouldn't the teacher fart in public? Because she was a private tutor"

"What do women and linoleum have in common? If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years."

"Punk rockers are unruly, what do they like most about women though? Their CCCCUUUUUNNNNNTTTTT!!!"