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Joke of the Day

"My penis just lost its job. If anyone knows any holes it can fill let me know."

"BREAKING NEWS: Due to the horrible conditions at Sochi, the Olympics have been moved to a much safer place.. Chernobyl."

"""Make yourself at home."" they say, then it's ""Ma'am please put your bra back on."" Make up your mind, library story time, make up your mind!"

"By shear coincidence... ...all these sheep look the same..."

"Christ died to absolve us of sin... Now if only he'd come back and die two more times to get rid of cos and tan."

"your dirty mind "" Give it to me"" she yelled, ""i am so fucking wet, give it to me now"" She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella."

"Short joke about the computer-era generation A mother asks her son: ""What do you write at the end of a sentence"" ""Mmmmh.... a .com?"""

"So, a florist gave me the wrong flowers. I think they're called oopsie daisies."

"i want a google chrome plugin that's a todolist manager and the way you launch it is, you visit twitter, but it shows your todos instead"

"I want transition lenses that turn black whenever someone starts talking to me."