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Joke of the Day
"So, a florist gave me the wrong flowers. I think they're called oopsie daisies."
Next Joke
"For her birthday, my wife asked for something that went from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds... I got her a scale."
"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give the bitch a shovel."
"When googling Gary Oldman I highly suggest not forgetting the ""R"""
"Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that's cheating?"
"*wakes up in cold sweat* SHOULDN'T ELEVATORS BE CALLED SOMETHING ELSE ON THE WAY DOWN?"
"A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower... ...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online."
"What's the difference between a musician and a dead body? One composes, the other decomposes..."
"Watermelons and Catcuses There are two watermelons and two cacti. One cactus says to the other ""Damn look at those melons!"" The Watermelons reply ""Wow they're such pricks."""
"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well apparently not eight cause my basement is still dark."