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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile That's a big word for a 12 year old"
Next Joke
"""I'm so over you."" - A blanket."
"What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire? Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one"
"I got gas today for $1.09! Too bad it was from Taco Bell."
"APOCALYPSE SURVIVOR: ""We must conserve resources. Only people with useful skills! What's yours?"" ME: ""I write and want to dir--"" ""GUNSHOT*"
"Never go shopping on an empty stomach, I just went to Macy's before dinner and ate 7 turtle necks"
"What do you call a woman with an opinion? Wrong"
"Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you."
"Mom told me to quit calling the postman a mail escort."
"Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy? Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time."