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Joke of the Day

"What rings twice and screams once? Ray Charles answering the iron"

"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme."

"I just want to make enough money to live in a neighborhood where Starbucks doesn't lock their bathrooms"

"Why does Iraq have no Walmarts? Because there's a Target on every corner."

"What do rednecks do on halloween? Pumpkin"

"I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular."

"A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"What is God's favorite guitar chord? Gsus"

"What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. sorry."

"An asian asks for help at an airport... Asian: ""why is my plane late? It said it would be here at 6:30."" Airplane help guy: ""fluctuations."" Asian: ""fluck you americans too."""