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Joke of the Day

"What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. sorry."

"Did you hear about the Spanish Fire Brigade jose and hose b"

"Why is a nosey pepper so annoying? He's jalapeno business"

"I would totally surf a tsunami. If I didn't get nauseous on water. And if tsunamis weren't dangerous. And I knew how to surf."

"Detective: Did your husband have any enemies, ma'am? Wife: Well, the cat next door never really liked Jim, and that always seemed a bit odd."

"Every time I get out of a small car it looks like a giraffe being born."

"Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn't have waffle cones but they had PICTURES of waffle cones. That guy was me."

"My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn't realise he planned to be that person"

"Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed over by a period"

"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."