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Joke of the Day

"I tickled my little brothers foot this morning. And my mom went crazy about it. Something about ""Waiting until he's born""."

"Bruce Jenner, substantiated proof... Women are worse drivers."

"Pinocchio in love So Pinocchio says to his father: 'Dad I'm in love!', his dad replies 'That's great, now you want me to carve you some penis?' 'No, better drill me a hole at the back' @_@"

"Oh shit, my computer uses U.S. English. I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up."

"People always say ""Wow, your baby looks so much like you,"" as though it's supposed to defy genetics & look exactly like a coffee mug."

"Twilight drinking game rules: 1) drink 40 shots when you press play so you can die before the movie starts."

"They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did."

"Scientists now believe that approx 2% of Earth's water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher"

"Autocorrect? More like Autocorrect! Am I right? Sorry, Autocorrect ruined my joke."

"Why did my Geoligist wife divorce me? She kept on saying that everything I said was complete bullschist"