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Joke of the Day

"Why did my Geoligist wife divorce me? She kept on saying that everything I said was complete bullschist"

"why do dolphin jokes always make you laugh? that's the porpoise. (came up with this at work...i love a good pun)"

"When I was a kid my older brother dared me to take a bite of a Monopoly board. It was a little gamey."

"So from now on I believe in talking bears until someone can logically explain how that Ted scene just happened on the #oscars"

"So I was fucking this woman... And she said that she wanted 12 inches and she wanted it to hurt, so I stuck it in 3 times and hit her with a baseball bat."

"Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower."

"Guys, stop with the vagina jokes. Period."

"if religion is the opium of the masses then i smoke weed everyday!"

"Don't smoke Unless you're on fire, then it's natural."

"Today I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof I was shocked!"