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Joke of the Day

"Twilight drinking game rules: 1) drink 40 shots when you press play so you can die before the movie starts."

"What do you call a black woman who's had 4 abortions? A crime fighter."

"If you ever trip in public... ...get up, laugh a little, and say, ""Whoops, it's been awhile since I inhabited a body."""

"Dear diary, although he was a malevolent killer, the headless horseman was really well dressed. My emotions about this are confusing."

"My girlfriend is like John Cena I can't see her :("

"I want an iPhone with BBM and a Nokia battery."

"[China] ""You have to get good grades"" KID: But it's so hard! ""We're Can-tonese not Cant-tonese"" KID: You gotta admit that's a bit confusing"

"How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Lets go ride a bike!"

"You've got to hand it to blind prostitutes."

"My dream car is just Shaq dressed like a fireman carrying me everywhere like he just rescued me from a burning building"