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Joke of the Day
"Actor who had starred in almost every movie. Also Starring"
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"What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy? ""Oh god, a caucus!"" ^^^cuz ^^^he ^^^has ^^^a ^^^new ^^^england ^^^accent"
"what do you call a fly with no wings? A walk."
"PROFILE PICTURES: What people want other people to think they look like. TAGGED PICTURES: What they actually look like."
"So I got asked if I wanted a threesome... I said no thanks, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents."
"*makes third wish* Lastly, I want to be irresistible to women. [Transformed into really nice handbag] Dammit."
"After witnessing the second coming of Jesus. My life has changed. I have decided not to watch Mexican Porn again."
"Did you know that Matthew Broderick was the first Iron Man in the movies? He was Ferrous Bueller."
"How does Hitler like his Juice? From concentrate."
"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have & waste an entire day without having a life."