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Joke of the Day

"After witnessing the second coming of Jesus. My life has changed. I have decided not to watch Mexican Porn again."

"What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl? This is unacceptable."

"Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon? Because they cantaloupe.."

"The jerk store called? But, that jerk store burned down ten years ago... on this very night"

"I like my women how I like my lightbulbs... ...not too bright, easy to turn on, and hanging in my basement by a wire."

"So a husband asked his wife if it was possible to feel happy and sad at the same time..... She responded that he had the biggest dick out of his brothers."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octupus laugh? Ten tickles."

"Wife just changed her Facebook status to ""It's complicated."" Better go see what she wants."

"Water leak. No water for 2 days. Then the plumber cut the cable line. No internet. No TV. 2 stinky teenagers. Send wine and bail money."

"I know a guy who became a millionaire after marrying his wife Before that, he was a billionaire..."