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Joke of the Day

"Why is C afraid of D? Because DEEZ NUTS!"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... ...it doesn't last as long for fat people."

"What is Heinz Guderian's favorite song? The Blitzkrieg Bop"

"If Earth was a rented apartment, ain't NOOOO WAAAAAY we're getting our security deposit back."

"""I'm dying call me an ambulance"" Best friend: ""Ok dying, you're an ambulance"""

"The chef asked me how I liked my eggs and I accidentally said uneasy instead of over easy. Now I have some uncomfortable eggs staring at me."

"Rape in an elevator is wrong.... on so many levels"

"Hell is just going to be you on a conference call waiting for the 8th guy to dial in for all eternity."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to a party? because he was a fungi"

"Badly built roofs... Are exactly why I have truss issues"