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Joke of the Day
"I went to the zoo today, and the only animal it had was a dog. It was a Shih Tzu."
Next Joke
"People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects."
"I used to steal identities... You people are so boring I ended up returning them."
"When life gets tough, remember this: You were the strongest sperm."
"Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally? There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd."
"That really wasn't nice of Dorothy to say ""I'll miss you most of all"" to Scarecrow with Lion & Tin Man standing right there."
"My boss fired me. ""Why?"" I protested. ""I haven't done anything!"" Turns out that was his reason."
"Did you hear about the incompetent circumciser? He slipped and got the sack."
"My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, my grandfather stole my money."
"How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it and set it on fire : WOOF! How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Freeze it and put it thru a table saw: meeeeooooow"