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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort."

"Credit cards are VERY dangerous. Every time I try to use one somebody starts chasing me with scissors."

"Post game interviews always show the winning players thanking God but they never show the losing players cursing him."

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? You won't get it."

"Why do black guys always have red eyes after sex? Mace."

"You're so fake, Barbie is jealous."

"Rebecca Romaine Lettuce. Is that something? I don't care. It's just one tweet in an entire universe. Who gives a shit."

"A pedophile walks into the woods with a little girl... Girl: I'm scared Pedo: Me too, I need to walk home alone."

"I signed up today for a college American Fiction Literature class, apparently it was a really popular class. It was LIT AF"