201182

Joke of the Day

"Rebecca Romaine Lettuce. Is that something? I don't care. It's just one tweet in an entire universe. Who gives a shit."

"Why did the man sleep under the tractor? Because he wanted to wake up oily."

"The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen."

"Why did the train engineer go on a rampage? He had a loco-motive."

"*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn't reply to my last 43 texts & then you tweeted about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?"

"Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, and Grub. Trumpton is on."

"My tampon just leaked during my bath and now it looks like I made a tub full of passion fruit tea."

"Changed my outgoing voicemail message to ""You have reached the government."""

"Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ? A: They never know when to come in."

"What Do You Call Bob The Builder When He Retires? Bob."