190111

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot"

"What does an astronaut say when he's sorry? All my Apollo-gies."

"Whats the difference between catholic priests and acne? One doesn't come on your face until your at least 13"

"Sex is like CPR. Two inches at 100 beats per minute."

"[Date] Him: I don't trust myself around you Her(flirtatiously): Oh, stop Him: I bought an iPad on your credit card when you went to bathroom"

"Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom."

"Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related."

"Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon? Because he's a Wino-saur!"

"I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues."

"Q: How do you fit 10 Amish in a VW Beetle? A:Tell them you are going to the livestock auction"