190100

Joke of the Day

"Urge is strong to leave work early on summer Fridays to avoid traffic. Most do it & become the traffic they sought to avoid."

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"Everyone always says that chocolate is like crack, so one day I actually tried it to find out for myself. I still prefer crack."
"Kids: Dad why have you never taken us swimming [thinking of an excuse because I can't swim] Me: I got killed by a shark once"
"TIL that Funimation has an unreleased Dragon Ball Z episode where they just improved the whole script. Oops. Wrong dub. (Real oops. Meant to type improvised)"
"Heard about the new Itailian all-weather tires? Dago through rain Dago through mud Dago through snow And when Dago flat Dago wop-wop-wop-wop..."
"Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago"
"hi and welcome to hidden chair club. please find your seat"
"A sandwich walks into a bar... The barman says ""sorry, we don't serve food here."""
"Wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles"
"How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!"