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Joke of the Day

"I just ran into my barber on the street. He asked me how I liked the haircut he gave me last week. I told him it's growing on me."

Next Joke
 
"Daughter: ""I wish you were a better listener."" Me: ""I wish you were more interesting."" Daughter: ""Don't tweet that."" Me: ""I won't."""
"I want to get stoned like I cheated on my Iranian husband."
"Have manufacturers of picket fences ever gone on strike? Because the irony would be awesome. Take your time, I'll wait."
"What would the war be called if Donald Trump started war on the Mexicans? World war Juan"
"Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?"
"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""
"What do you call a Roman with pubic hairs stuck between his teeth? Glad-he-ate-her."
"The guy that invented the heimlich maneuver died today... needless to say I'm a little choked up"
"What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle."