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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Roman with pubic hairs stuck between his teeth? Glad-he-ate-her."
Next Joke
"""You're an alcoholic."" I prefer the term 'bar-barian'"
"I'm always a little disappointed when I walk away from my car and it doesn't explode after I press the lock button."
"You should never yell ""Fire!"" in a crowded theater The gunman will shoot when he's ready, it isn't polite to rush him"
"My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me."
"What's Dracula's car called? A mobile blood unit."
"I bet Flo Rida sometimes wishes he went with the name 'In Diana' instead."
"My favourite joke at the moment... How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag? First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get? Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get?"
"Their bedroom door is closed. I better walk in there for no reason. - kids"
"Butler I've got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing serves him right."