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Joke of the Day

"Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky! Just kidding... Drugs. She eats drugs. -Adam Zopf @adamzopf"

"Michel J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor. He orders a large cone with two scoops what flavors does he choose? It doesn't matter he's just going to drop it anyway"

"What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard? Pillow fight!"

"My mailbox is overflowing, my spam folder and junk folder rival each other in size, and I keep procrastinating on dealing with it... But one day I'm gonna go clean all that up, you just wait and DNC."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until you are 13 to come on your face."

"When dogs suddenly stop licking themselves and stare into the distance, they're thinking, ""Shit. Did I leave the iron on?"""

"How do infomercial salesmen tell you you're fat? Butt weight! There's more!"

"Was at the zoo and witnessed a monkey going to the bathroom. That shit was bananas."

"judge: I hereby sentence you to 68 years in prison my lawyer: your honor my client respectfully requests a year be added to his sentence"

"Regular sex makes your day. Butt sex makes your hole weak."