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Joke of the Day

"COP: PUT YOUR HANDS UP OCTOPUS: They're tentacles COP: OK PUT ALL 8 TENTACLES UP OCTOPUS: Two are my legs, dude COP: Just go. I give up."

"why do giraffes have long necks? because they have smelly feet!!"

"What has got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!"

"Q: How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum."

"[end of interview] Any questions for me? Yes. Why didn't the glass slipper also disappear at midnight? YOU ARE SO HIRED."

"I got a hair cut for $10 At this rate, its gonna cost me a million dollars to get them all cut."

"[angrily taking off banana suit] ""Why didn't you tell me we were going to a funeral"""

"What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end."

"At least my parents April fools joke wasn't a child. /u/ChodeologyPHD came up with this."

"When you're alone in your room, start doing karate so ghosts know what's up."