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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Friend: That's OK. I don't mind M: The mess tho F: Don't be silly M: I don't want u in my house"

"Why did the villagers hate Frankenstein? Because he was a Jew."

"The best way to make people remember you? Borrow money from them"

"This sentence contains exactly threeee erors. The third error? The fact that there are only two errors. The fourth error? Running this gag."

"Few people have the balls to admit when they're wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls."

"Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo."

"If I were Spock, I would spend 24 hours a day saying things like ""get out of my Vulcan face"" and ""are you Vulcan kidding me?"""

"Jesus: Listen guys, why has someone written 'nail appointment' in my diary? Judas: No idea, J. No idea."

"do you qualify to be my crush? *pulls out list* *checks off has a beating heart* yup you qualify"

"Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate."