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Joke of the Day

"I tried to make a movement supporting lossy music compression... but I got a lot of FLAC."

"Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached? Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs? Or crapperjoels?"

"You know when you find the BEST hiding place ever to keep something safe and it's so good you forget where it was? That's me and passwords."

"Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT SIR? Cowboy: NAH... SHE AIN'T THAT UGLY!! http://imgur.com/2TKdb"

"[vacuuming] Pick up your feet please. Kid on sofa: No! Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first* *turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please."

"Minimize vs Close in 2014 In 2080: there were some dumb computer users who thought if they click on 'x' in Skype it will close it."

"Dicks are like bullets Small calibers don't penetrate shit, and the exploding ones really fuck you up."

"How do you clear out an Iraqi bingo parlour? Call out ""B-52"""

"*desperately tries to get screaming newborn daughter latched onto my nipple* hmmmm. she must not realize I'm a feminist"

"Can someone please explain this joke to me ""It shoulds be spelled 'colllllllllllllege cause ive taken far more than 2 L's"" My friend sais L means loses but loses of what"