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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog? One is an oscar meyer weiner, the other admires oscar's weinner"

"Bloke walks up and asks ""Do you prefer long legs or short?"", so I reply ""I prefer something in between"""

"What's the difference between a burlap sack and my nutsack? The babies in my nutsack are still living."

"Why don't Jews eat pussy? It's too close to the gas chamber."

"Two muffins are in an oven The first one says, ""Boy, it sure is hot in here."" The second one says, ""Oh my god, it's a talking muffin!"""

"Why is Hitler's Favorite Animal the Cheetah? Because they are the Facist animals within existence."

"I'm not usually a prick but when I am, I try to be like Donald Trump"

"What did the band consisting only of postmen call itself? Vanmailen."

"They say you can get to a man's heart through his stomach... Unless he's a vegetarian. Then you can get there through his vagina."

"[in space] ASTRONAUT: Up here you can have delusions ME: Haha I don't think so A: They can seem real GANDALF: Don't believe him ME: I don't"